At the time of turmoil

Separation or a divorce always brings us to a crossroads. We have to choose which way we take. One way is: we throw in the towel, give up on love and seal our hearts from future pain by closing it tight with anger and resentment.

It feels natural to do this, since our brain is actually biologically build in that way. Breaking up launches a stress reaction and causes us to go into a fight or flight mode. Ironically, this is the same area in the brain that is activated when we fall in love. It explains why even the most sane of us start to act a bit crazy in a break up. It’s not just that in a rare case, someone had their ex punished by telling everyone how badly they behaved, excluding them from social circles, had their property trashed and their clothes thrown out the window. It has happened to the best of us and since it’s just you and me here, I can admit that my own break ups haven’t been that pretty either.

But then there is the other way: The possibility to grow beyond that tragic story, to understand the meaning and purpose of how things went down as they did. The road to use all the pain into something constructive, rather than destructive. To wisdom, maturity and a deeper capacity to love and be loved. The road that leads you to a stronger connection with yourself, your feelings and needs. Where you can learn to trust yourself never to make the same mistakes again. This is the road of compassion. The road that leads to emotional freedom. I’m offering you my hand to choose this way. Walk with me?